INTERVIEW WITH A BOSS: BIG JED, aka Mo Sweetness

Things to know about Jed: He is a boss. He owns a house. He lives dangerously close to Scoops, a moderately priced ice cream shop and eats 5 generously sized kid's cones a week. His favorite food is a chicken wing, but he will also consume ribs as needed. He has a lovely lady who is often the star of hard hitting interview segments on local tv and hates this other lady, Michelle McD. His cat, Seuss, can beat up his ladies cat, Otis. I am pretty sure he doesn't have a favorite symphony. He also neglected to answer the nakashon.com super question "Who has the best boobs?" and if wasn't gracious towards me I would be mad about that.

Learn more about Jed by reading this interview!

How does it feel to be a boss?

I gotta say, it feels great. everyone is at my bidding. I say jump,
they mumble something unintelligible under their breath, then proceed
to turn around and go back to whatever it is they were doing. On
second thought I get no respect and my life is in shambles

Describe a day in the life of an information management specialist.

Heavy shit my man...heavy shit. Meetings, gchat, surfing the net,
racist jokes, sexual innuendos... you know the usual type of work
shit. On Thursdays we have pants off dance offs. I am judge jury and
executioner yet somehow I never win. I am planning on watching Stomp
the Yard this weekend, so i figure by next Thursday heads are gonna
get served.

If you owned the Sixers, what would you do?

I would make them really represent Philly. I'd  field a team that consisted only of long bearded black dudes. The team uniform would consist of baggy jeans which stop just above the ankle, xxxxl white tees and Tims.  Our alternate jerseys would be "stop snitchin" Tees

In your opinion, what is the best dunk of all time?

well i dont have an answer to that question, but i will say that one of my favorites ever was back when iverson still dunked. it was off a missed foul shot in Toronto. iverson cxame in from almost halfcourt caught the ball while jumping over that fatass Oliver Miller put it back mad hard onehanded and  ended up literally sitting on the shoulders of that hippo O miller.

Why do people in South and Northeast Philly talk as if they are illiterate?

Because most of them are.  It also provides countless hours of
entertainment for those with a a 4th grade education or higher.

 
Why are legal pads yellow?

Why is the sky blue? why is water wet? why did the Romans kill Jesus
while Judas slept?
Why the fuck are you asking stupid ass questions like that?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

One, a two-hoo, three...three.

If you owned scoops, what improvements would you make?

Nothing...what could be better than a place that is 40' from my front
door and serves huge ice cream cones for  1.75? Weill maybe free
blowjobs to all customers.

Can you defeat Chris in a battle of wits?

Jog on cunt! seriously though...yes. I am real smart. i once figured out how to put up a ceiling fan...in theory. then I hired some dude to do it

If you could punch anyone in the face who would it be and why?

recently my Lady and some dude named Nick  have been enjoying a pretty
shitty TV show called  So You Think You Can Dance. one of the "judges"
on the show is the most annoying/heinous broad a tv camera has ever
seen. this bitch has no upper lip and the biggest set of horse teeth
you ever seen. Her laugh makes me want to drink the blood draining
from my Lady's recent surgical wounds.
I would punch her.

Is Mike Schmidt a legend in your eyes?

yes, for many reasons.
reason the first - memories of Schmidt evoke memories of the days of
yore when baseball uniforms were fucking awesome.
Reason the second - The schmitter sandwich, which has nothing to do
with Mike Schmidt, but tastes mad good
Reason the third - the man has /had a killer 'stache
reason the fourth - he once hit a ball so hard it landed in my
backyard yesterday

Does Ron Jaworski have any cred in the city of brotherly love?

he does...pollocks love their own you know. personally I find him so
fucking annoying. his only redeeming quality is that he is an undying
homer. the man will pick the eagles anytime anyplace, against any
opponent.  I also like his 'stache, but dude is wack to me

If you could eat 100 of something what would it be?

Racks of pork ribs

What are you doing next?

Well, I am currently in the midst of a race with my boy joe to see who
will have a mil first. So I am on my daily grind trying to win that. I
also have big plans in the works to make all of my income passively by
the year 2012. By 2017 I should be semi retired. I am also making a
smoker out of terra cotta pots.