Chris Lindland is the owner of Cordarounds, a pants manufacturer imbued with "a certain optimism," and marketed with hilariously themed news letters. Two years ago, I received a pair of these wonderful trousers as a Christmas gift. My confidence rose. I felt I could cut through space with the speed and grace that this creepy guide in the Ecuadorian jungle cut through the bush with his razor sharp machete. I found that the pants were also equally adept in casual and business environments. That is, if your business is museums, an essentially casual environment.

 

I wanted to know more about Cordarounds and the mind behind the excellent and off beat news letters. So, I sent an interview request to info@cordarounds.com and received a very quick response. One day later the interview was done. Now that is good business, Aaron Keenan could learn from this promptness. Delving into the mind of Mr. Lindland was rewarding and fascinating. Who would have thought pants other than Arnold would be interesting?

 

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What made you say, "I want to sell pants!"?

Don't we all have that moment?  Come on, be honest
with yourself.  In my case, it was a drunken
conversation ages ago where I posed the famously
stupid, life-altering question, "how come they don't
make horizontal corduroy pants?"   A few years later,
personal and professional boredom conspired me to get
into the pant biz--a business I knew nothing about.

Your cords are horizontal, a rather novel feature, why
go this route?

For years, consumers had been screaming for a more
aerodynamic pant.

Are there any inherent challenges in producing
horizontal pants?

First I had to build a multimillion dollar laser to
cut the corduroy horizontally.  Other than that, no
challenges whatsoever.

Have you made any disastrous decisions in the past?

Tough question.  Would my high-school neck tattoo,
"Metal Up Your Ass!," count?

Seersucker sometimes carries a nasty stigma. It is the
fabric of plantation society, and reflects a certain
upper crust attitude. Do you hope that horizontal
seersucker might turn these notions upside down?

Technically, it would turn the notion on its
side--hence our claim that Summerounds are precisely
90 degrees cooler than common seersucker.

Who has the best boobs in the world?

The women on Cordarounds.com


Do you have a favorite Chevy Chase film?

Here's a little known Chevy Chase cameo:  he played a
phlegm-faced space haggler in the cantina scene of Star
Wars.   Go on, check IMBD.

What is the best concert you have ever attended?

My first concert:  The Beastie Boys & Run DMC's
Together Forever Tour.

Can you pass the presidents fitness test?

Did you see our Adult Presidential Fitness Guidelines?
We ran a story about this on our blog a couple months
back.  So, yes, I can perform the standing chip dip.

What inspires you when you are thinking of ideas for
your newsletter?

"Hmmm...How can I out-stupid the last one?"

Who is your favorite rapper?

Kool Moe Dee.  Old school, but the fastest rapper I've
ever heard.

Do you have a favorite jazz performer?

See above answer about disastrous decisions.   I've
never invested in Jazz.  Now, thanks to you, I will.

Describe a memory that is attached to a particular
song.

The Cordarounds Fight Song brings me back, way back,
to this era when I was a pant maker, and sold clothing
via fake technology and disgusting stories online.

You make good jackets, have you ever thought of making
a sweater?

I was planning on announcing this in the New York
Times, who first covered Cordarounds, but since your
blog is quickly achieving the cultural might of the
Grey Lady,  I shall announce it here...

This holiday season, I'll be selling sweaters made of
only black sheeps wool.   Yes, you'll be able to wear
a figure of speech.   No joke.   I'm travelling to
Ireland in October to make 'em.

San Francisco is known as being one of America's
finest food cities. What is your favorite meal?

One of those Korean feasts where 15 bowls of steaming
mystery sit before you, and you feel like a Mongolian
raider.

My name is Arnold T. Pants, you make pants, I have a
dream to have Arnold T's pants. Even though you know
nothing about me, what do you think these pants should
be like?

They should be made with a thin, but highly durable
flank steak.

Explain the red tab at the ankle or cuff of your
products?

When anyone sets out to create a logo, they spend ages
arguing if a blob, swoosh, chevron, set of blocks, or
steaming poo graphic captures the essence of whatever
it is they're selling.   We lucked out because we
thought it would be interesting to put a logo-thingy
on the inner left leg then placed some red corduroy
there as a placeholder.  When the pants were finished
I said, "ah, now we have a logo."

Rock, paper or scissors?

That would be like the Russians telling us precisely
what's in their nuclear arsenal.    You don't find out
what I'm packing until you're ready to throw, Arnold
Pants.

Frisbee Golf or Ultimate Frisbee?

Frisbee Golf.   Is it just me, or have Ultimate people
become as cocky as Lacrosse players?  I mean, the game
was invented as a break between bong hits and look
what it's become.

What can we expect from Cordarounds in the future?

Well, that's up to you, readers of this blog.   If
folks keep buying, we keep making fun things.  It's
that simple.  Even though the website looks good,
we're still a two man operation with girlfriends who'd
really like to eat at restaurants where they serve
wine.

On a less sincere note, here's a product I'd love to
create and miserably fail at marketing...

ready....

Graduation mortar boards for casual use.   Imagine
meeting women at a bar wearing a rugged, suede mortar
board.   They'd think, "at last, an intelligent
man..."

Any last words?

For God's sake, visit Cordarounds.com.  If you already
have plenty of pants that are made in San Francisco and
injected with stupidity, pride, and optimism, fine.
I'm sure you know someone who could use some.